My Visit Back to the Cleveland Clinic
In November of 2022, I decided I wanted to give back to the people who gave me so much for CRPS Awareness month. I gave back to the Cleveland Clinic Children’s Hospital (CC) as a thank you for teaching me how to cope with my pain and learn how to walk again. I invited my community to make fleece blankets for the children at the Cleveland Clinic Pain Management and Rehabilitation Program in hopes of giving these kids a sense of comfort and love during such a trying time in their lives. Over 150 blankets were donated, and at the end of November, I sent them off to Cleveland, Ohio. While working on this project, my mom and I were put back in contact with some of the staff at the Cleveland Clinic. Learning that I was once a patient there almost ten years ago, they wanted to see what I was up to now. My mom shared our experiences at the CC and the years that followed, which included my journey with dance, and my passion to give back to the CRPS community. After hearing my story, the staff invited me and my parents to visit the Cleveland Clinic that following June to give out blankets in person.
After 5 months of preparation, June was here, and it was time for my parents and I to head to Cleveland. As we arrived at the airport and boarded the plane, I thought there was no way this was reality. Since leaving Cleveland many years ago, I always wanted to return, but I never thought in a million years would I ever go back. Here I was though. On a plane, traveling to a place that held so many memories and emotions, both good and bad. I was eager to share these blankets, but also anxious about the feelings that would resurface.
We arrived at the hospital around noon, and I walked through the same doors I had crutched my way through 10 years ago. Making our way through the hospital, we approached the room we would be eating lunch in. To my surprise, there was a welcome sign on the door with a picture of me from the hospital I had never seen! At that moment, I was overwhelmed with emotions. Trying to shake the nerves and hold in the tears, I wondered how the day would go and what else would be in store. Turned out, the staff had a whole day planned for me and my family. First, we ate lunch with the entire staff. My family got to tell them about our experiences at the CC and how it greatly impacted us. We got to hear about what the program has become and the great changes made to it over the past ten years. I even got to catch up with one of my therapists who helped me learn how to walk again when I was there as a kid. I enjoyed sharing my story and everything I have accomplished since I left the hospital, because it wouldn’t have been possible without the Cleveland Clinic. I hope my message reassured the doctors and therapists that their work, passion, and love is what makes a difference in each kid’s life.
Following lunch, we were taken on a tour around the hospital. So many old memories flooded my mind as we entered each room. As we walked into the rec room, I remembered the meals I made in nutrition class, the song I made up with my friends to the tune of ‘Cooler Than Me’, and the many crafts we made. I visited the pool where I would tread water, for what seemed like way too, and the classroom where I learned magic tricks from my teacher and completed assignments with the help of my friends. As I walked into the physical therapy room, I could see the 10-year-old version of myself playing Just Dance, attempting to do jumping jacks, boxing, and walking on the treadmill. I experienced so much pain in this room, but as I thought back to all the hard work and tears shed in that room, I was proud of everything I had accomplished in the last ten years since I left. Lastly, we visited my room where I would often cry myself to sleep, the dining room where I celebrated my eleventh birthday, the game room where I watched my first rated R movie, We’re the Millers, and the whiteboard that had my schedule of the five or so different doctors I would visit and therapies I would do that day. Being in these places was like visiting an old home but being older everything seemed so much smaller. As I walked down the hallways, I remember thinking as a kid that they were so long and walking them seemed close to impossible. Walking through the places I once suffered in, I took each step for my 10-year-old self who thought I would never walk again.
After the tour, my parents and I attended a Mind Body Skills class with three of the patients in the Pain Management and Rehabilitation Program. Just like when I took this class, we learned different mind and body skills that would help us cope, understand, and accept our pain. We also discussed and discovered the life we wanted to live after leaving the CC. As I reflected back on my time there, I got to share my experiences at the Cleveland Clinic with the kids. I expressed to the them that I had no hope coming into this program, because nothing leading up to that point helped me, however, little did I know, the Cleveland Clinic was going to be the one thing that did. I encouraged the kids to befriend each other because they know exactly what you are going through. This process is not easy, so I urged them to lean on each other and help one another through this difficult time. These kids were only on day three and had a lot of work in front of them. Sometimes it is hard to see the light at the end of a long, dark tunnel, but you must have faith and know your strength. These kids are the toughest people I know, and I pray that I brought a little bit of perspective and hope into their lives. After the class, I got to give them their blankets! I told them that even when you feel lonely, you are not alone. Someone in the world made this blanket for you. They care for you and pray you overcome this obstacle. When the pain gets too much, hold on to it and know you are not alone.
My visit back to the Cleveland Clinic is one I will never forget, and if I had it my way, I would have stayed there for a couple more days! My time there was a transformative part of my life and is the reason why I am walking, dancing, sharing my story, and working to bring hope to those who are affected by Complex Regional Pain Syndrome or other pain afflicting diseases. I pray that every kid who receives a blanket at the Cleveland Clinic or Ronald McDonald House feels loved and supported by the community embracing them.
