Trying to get in the right frame of mind to write this message has been very difficult. It brings up very raw emotions of a very stressful and debilitating time. As mothers, our children look to us to "fix" things or "make it better." But ten years ago, I couldn't. Everything I read about CRPS was so deflating and depressing. Before Miller was diagnosed with CRPS, I remember telling a friend, "I can't remember the last time I cried." I cried a pool full of tears during the year Miller was searching for a diagnosis and once treatment began.

Today marks my 10 year anniversary of living with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. In the past couple of years, it’s been difficult for me to digest that I have been living with CRPS for so long and realizing that I have such a long road ahead of me doesn’t make it any easier. Thinking about the future is quite daunting. It is the unknown, that at times, is scary to say the least. I don’t know if the pain will get better, if the pain will get worse, or if the pain will spread.

The other day I saw a video of a woman who suffers from CRPS explaining her journey and her feelings towards everything she has experienced. She, like many people who suffer from CRPS, grieve their past life they once had and, in their minds, can no longer get back. It is a painful process. CRPS flips your life upside down, and I think the change is so drastic your life can seem unrecognizable.

In November of 2022, I decided I wanted to give back to the people who gave me so much for CRPS Awareness month. I gave back to the Cleveland Clinic Children’s Hospital (CC) as a thank you for teaching me how to cope with my pain and learn how to walk again. I invited my community to make fleece blankets for the children at the Cleveland Clinic Pain Management and Rehabilitation Program in hopes of giving these kids a sense of comfort and love during such a trying time in their lives.